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Downloads And Stuff...
Funny (Humor) Crap!!!
Video Proof of what the perils of drugs do to spiders!!! (Warning!!! Very graphic!) CLICK HERE!
Video Of How To Sell Men's Underwear (Very Informative) CLICK HERE Video Of How Italian Farmers Tell Time CLICK HERE
See If You Ever Felt Like Doing This... CLICK HERE A Song On What Consequences Sound Like CLICK HERE This Is One Bud Commercial You Won't See On The Superbowl lineup! CLICK HERE
Today is Einstein's birthday. He would have been 107. Few people remember
that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his
first marriage dissolved in 1919. He stated that he was attracted to Elsa
because she was well endowed, and postulated that if you are attracted to
women with large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is a DNA
connection. This came to be known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.
Oh be quiet - - I didn't write this stuff!
This Is One Definition Of A High Class Problem
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New ATM Drive-Thru Instructions
A sign in the bank lobby reads:
"Please note that this bank is installing a new drive-through ATM machine enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender." |
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine, enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
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FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car..
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake. |
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